I used to constantly check my phone back in 2019. As you may know, an average person touches his phone 2617 times per day. I think I was touching at least 1.5 times what an average human was doing.
I ran a couple of hiking groups over Meet app, WhatsApp, and Slack groups to catch up with colleagues, friends, and new immigrants. I had 50+ groups across the channels, even messenger groups.
Introspection time
Then one day on a hike, I introspected why I check the phone every 5 minutes? I asked myself:
Is there something wrong with me?
Hiking always connects me with myself and nature to give me plenty of time to introspect where life is heading.
Then I realized why I had to check every 5–10 minutes? What is so important I missing? After that, I resolved the puzzle; my hand was automatically going towards the phone to check what was going on?
Bad habit
I felt it was such a bad habit I developed that I have no control practically. I was constantly checking my phone without any reason. For example:
- I am taking a transit, hand on the phone
- Sitting in meeting (waiting for someone) hand on the phone
- If I’m bored, hand on the phone
It was just the simplest reflexive response: open your phone if I get bored. I was living a hand to phone life. I guess many of us live such a life without realizing how much time we are wasting.
Find the Root cause
At some point, I realized it was getting really hard to focus. I could not focus on anything for more than 10 minutes. My attention span was depleting.
It was time to find out the root cause. I was unable to do anything with a deep focus. I would like to plug in here that for me, a guy from nowhere, I got almost everything in life with a deep focus: getting to a top school, job, career transition, fitness, long immigration process, competitive exams, etc.
I did everything you can imagine with one thing at a time — every important task required your intense long focused attention.
How did I get into this?
When I started all these groups, there was one sole purpose: to connect with people through coffee meetups, networking events, and hiking events by creating online groups.
What was my purpose? Why did I start at the beginning?
My intention was not to waste my time or lose my focus.
Instant response system
One of the advantages and disadvantages of Slack or Whatsapp groups is that you can respond quickly. Imagine you send an email to a colleague; you can expect a reply in 1–2 days based on how busy they are. But with groups, you can receive an immediate response. Why?
Brain trigger system
It’s more psychology than the problem, every time you receive a prompt response from your groups; you feel a sense of reward. Your brain says that you have achieved something. That thing is embedded in our brain repeatedly to enjoy the same sense of accomplished feeling.
Attention is the way social primates measure status. It is highly rewarding because it causes the release of brain chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins. — Keith Henson
So the root cause was that every time I was using groups (WhatsApp, Slack) to get any response, my brain was releasing a chemical called dopamine means to do it again. It was such an endless cycle.
Brain create patterns
When you are doing something repeatedly, your brain creates a pattern to do things unconsciously or, in another sense, release dopamine. That bad habit is just embedded into your system without realizing that it’s wasting your time and reducing your attention span.
During the pandemic, it also triggers you to make a true human connection through social groups, but as they say, excess of everything is terrible.
Dopamine anticipation
This is the dangerous stage, research shows that when we start getting bored, our brain automatically releases dopamine anticipation of a reward. Now we know that our reward is to connect with people get our responses immediately before even you know that brain will signal your hands to pick up the phone start exploring groups. To put the dopamine anticipation into perspective:
Shopping online creates anticipation because the buyer has to wait for the purchase.
Dopamine anticipation was the main reason I was checking my cellphone almost every 5 minutes. It all started that I am helping people or getting help to grow in my professional life. Now that I had found the root cause, it was time to find a tangible solution.
To learn hard things quickly, you must focus intensely without distraction. To learn, in other words, is an act of deep work.
— Cal Newport
After reading the book, I acknowledged that my focused time or deep work span was maxed at 5–10 minutes. That was a moment of realization.
Then I implemented the deep work method explained in the book with multiple case studies. Whatever I achieved in life, there is a long, arduous journey. I did not want to waste my life by being a part of many groups and thinking that I was growing or helping someone else.
How I implemented the deep work in my life
One day I was at a product meetup event back in early 2019 before the pandemic. After the talk, I asked the speaker about her contact. She handed me the business card and said, please send me an email if you have any questions. I immediately asked, what about Whatsapp, or are you a part of the Slack channel? She promptly replied that I don’t use social media. Wow
I could not comprehend how it is possible to live without these modern apps. I decided to turn off all the notifications and remove as many groups as possible to get extra time to focus on in life.
After three years of constant struggle, I can proudly say that I do not use the phone for more than 90 minutes a day.
I still have the WhatsApp, Slack, or even messenger groups. Instead of deleting all the groups or apps, I simply do not consume more than 90 minutes per day.
I recommend keeping an eye on your screen time; do not cross the 90 minutes threshold. All the best in your life journey, and I hope it will inspire you to get more focused in life.
Recommendation: Please read this book in your free time — Deep Work by Cal Newport. (Amazon affiliate link)
Thank you for reading; follow me and clap a couple of times.
