I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. — Dr. Maya Angelou
Small habits and tiny things in life are very important. I’ve spent over a decade in face-to-face meetings, and it takes a lot of skill to understand how people speak and display bodily indications when you meet. I can tell you a lot about someone after only a few minutes of chat, especially in person.
Some people can tell you about your personality traits on how you drive or even look at your profile picture. I cannot tell you anything by just looking at your picture or the way you drive.
These are the personal tricks based on my observation; I benchmarked the observation with stats like a nerd. These rules cannot be applicable 100% of the time, but I can assure you the probability is very high when you start observing on a daily basis.
First, you need to learn the basics of human behavior, which is undoubtedly super complex.
Let’s dive into the learning part. Here are my top 5 observations.
1- The way someone treats service staff
You’re in the ultimate position of power when interacting with people who work in retail, food service, and other hourly jobs. They can’t disagree with you, and they have to be friendly even if you’re acting like a regular Karen.
When someone mistreats a waitress or food retailer at fast food restaurant, it shows that they lack empathy and integrity. It’s a big red flag if you are dating that person, leave everything on the spot and run in the opposite direction as fast as you can.
Compassionate people always treat servers or retail staff with kindness. Research shows that people who treat waiters with empathy have unconditional kindness. If someone poorly treats others, that’s a strong sign of a lack of compassion.
Everyone is equal!
It is important to be aware of one’s behavior. The behaviors we encounter with food service staff how we interact with them can tell a lot about a person’s personality.
I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO. — Tom Hardy
2- How well do they handle rejections
Rejections or failures are part of life. It’s a fact you are going to face more “no” in life than yes. I know it’s hard to cope with no, but the real test reveals a lot about a person’s personality on how they handle rejections.
A realistic and mature person will remain calm to handle the situation to take it as another lesson in life.
Let’s demystify the process by dividing the people into three different categories to handle rejections: needy, hostile, and secure. You can easily find out about yourself which type you belong to.
3- How someone talks about others
Everyone loves to talk about themselves. It’s just human nature. But, I keep track of how much time individuals spend talking about their life, how much time they spend inquiring about your life, and how much time they spend talking bad about someone else.
I learned a lot in my social circle. Let me be clear the person who is talking bad about someone in their absence. You should accept that the same person is talking bad about you in your absence.
It’s antisocial behavior, and you should avoid that person.
I recently wrote an article to stay away from complainers those people can hurt your career and personal life. Here is the article if you like to read it.
4- What they do at the 4-way stop signs
This simple 4-ways stop sign can tell a lot about someone’s personality. Psychology tells us that people who let go of the other person before them on the 4-way stop sign shows sign of generosity, shyness, or carelessness.
If you reached the 4-way stop at the same time as someone else and you immediately zoomed straight without stopping, then that’s the sign of aggression or confidence.
In general, people who don’t come on a full-stop show lack of trust or handling details.
5- How they make eye contact
I had a hard time learning this lesson. I grow up in a South Asian family, and it’s rude to look into your elder’s eyes while having a conversation.
When I moved to North America to pursue higher education, I was having a hard time looking into the eyes. Eye perception is different in each culture.
Eye contact is one of the primal ways of communicating — Clive Harman
If you live in North America, I recommend that you be mindful of their eyes when you’re speaking to another person, elderly or younger. Eye contact is the first sign to see if they are paying attention to you.
Be mindful that those who break eye contact may be nervous or distracted.
Introverts also have the issue of looking into someone’s eyes for a long time, especially if they are intimidated by their personality.
Research shows that widened pupils show desire, and squinted eyes indicate maybe the person is suspicious of you.
The bottom line
To summarise, if you know what you’re looking for, you may learn a lot about someone from only a few contacts with them. And, while they may look tiny things to others, they can reveal great things about someone else’s personality. Before we wind up, let’s review the five small points.
- How someone handles rejections is crucial to learn about their personality
- The way someone treats waiters or waitresses
- How someone talks about others in their absence
- You can learn a lot the way they drive, especially at the 4-way stop
- Always make eye contact to learn more about their personality
